Hospitals

I heard a sad story today about an IT programmer who passed away in hospital after his life support machine malfunctioned. His dying words were, “have you tried switching it off and switching it on again?”

It put me in mind of the time shortly after the last war when I assisted in giving emergency first aid to a rugger team mate who had dislocated his shoulder in a particularly vicious scrummage. We rushed him to the nearest doctor – by doctor I mean proper, Harley Street doctor, of course! - who instructed me to hold young Barry down while he wrestled the offending limb back into place, amidst much loud screaming from Barry, who was Welsh, after all.

A woman looked into the room – the Doctor introduced her as a midwife – who remarked that she had been attending a birth along the hall. She said that the woman had given birth to an eleven pound baby after being in labour for 12 hours and had got through it without half the fuss that Barry had made. “Ah Yes,” said the doctor, “But you want to try pushing it back in.”