Honourable Members

Yesterdy I attended a Charity dinner. They cooked the vegetables the old fashioned British way – if you can count them they are not done yet. We were talking about our esteemed politicians in the House of Commons, a natural enough topic of conversation given my history as an Honourable Member. My successors have been rather letting the side down recently by getting caught with their hands in the till.

It really is quite unfair to blame Members of Parliament for this – in the old days we were able to quietly accumulate as much moolah as possible from their Directorships with ICI and BP, and by doing the odd favour for legitimate businessmen from, say Saudi Arabia, helping them get a perfectly above board arms deal. But then the country decided that they wanted ther MP's to spend all their time sitting in TV studios and even constituency offices so it is only natural that they will need to make up the lost income from the taxpayer. But people just won't accept that! Modern Britain just doesn't have the same respect for its elected officials. Of course the rot really set in with Neville Chamberlain who was never given the credit he deserved. He did so much, after all, to redevelop Britain's run down inner cities by failing to stop World War Two.

The beneficiary of the function, by the way, was an old Almshouse which needs restoration. Its motto was 'Bring me your Old, your Poor and your Impotent'. Well the old and the poor turned up, but the impotent couldn't come.