Big Fatsos

I am told that McDonald's, the American burger company some of you might have heard of, have announced excellent trading figures, proving that no matter how how bad the global economic position there are still enough fatsos in the world to support our favourite supplier of meat flavoured sandwiches. Surprisingly, they say this growth has been led by strong sales over here in the UK and in France. I can understand the latter. I mean, there are only so many centuries for which one can base one's national cuisine on horsemeat and various slippery invertebrates before even a McDonald's burger seems appetizing, but we British have plenty of deep-fried, cholesterol rich foodstuffs of our own without having to import inferior foreign versions.

To prove the point, I was reading in the Telegraph today about an 18 month old baby who weighs more than 2 stone because her mother feeds her entirely on good old British chips – for our American friends that means french fries. And good for her, I say. When I was a child I would have done anything for a change from my ration of snoek and spam. The mother claims not to be concerned that her baby weighs as much as a 4 year old. The child will, after all, be able to make a living by appearing on those 'documentaries' about the fattest person in the world and will therefore be able to get her diabetes, heart disease etc. treated privately rather than having to rely on the National Health Service. And if she were to contract one of those flesh eating viruses that our hospitals hand out as free gifts to their patients, the bug would have so much flesh to eat that it would become exhausted, thus solving another problem.