Welcome, friends! As I travel up and down this great land of ours people often tell me that they have come to miss my many wise observations on the great issues of the day. And so, not wanting to let down the people to whom I have devoted my life of service, I have embraced the digital age! So read on and learn! Sir Bingham Collar KBE.

Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts

Sunday, 8 February 2009

A Message from Above


The Pope has got into trouble for de-excommunicating or re-communicating or whatever the right verb is, an English Bishop who is also a Holocaust denier and all round loon. The chap in question is called Richard Williamson and, until this week, was virtually unknown in the UK, this being a country which now gets its religious instruction from the sides of London Buses. For this reason we were always spared from having to share in Tony Blair's religious 'journey' while he was Prime Minister. Now that he no longer has any ambition to do anything other than make money and be seen with famous people, he has been speaking at something called a 'prayer breakfast'. He even invited his good friend Barak Obama, presumably to tell him why invading Iraq was a good idea after all.

The BBC has been having further presenter-related problems. Carol Thatcher, who had somehow got herself a job on a current affairs programme got herself sacked after she called an unidentified tennis player a 'golly-wog' and Jeremy Clarkson called the Prime Minister a 'one-eyed Scottish idiot'. He was forced to apologise after massive protests from the Royal Institute for the Idiotic whose members were deeply offended by the comparison to Gordon Brown.

And, just to prove that some things never change, the England cricket team have been hammered by West Indies. The England and Wales Cricket Board, who are responsible for these things, have set a new precedent for decisive action by sacking the coach before the series even began. Good for them!

Monday, 28 April 2008

Not Cricket!


I read with dismay that the new Indian Premier League has been a great success. This involves a new version of cricket which was invented in England a few years ago and which only lasts of a couple of hours, like football or rugby or something like that and which has now taken over the cricketing world being played by teams called the Kolkatta Knight Riders. Don't these people know that cricket isn't supposed to be about entertainment? It is supposed to be the supreme test of sporting endurance – for the spectator. Frankly people who want a match that takes less than a working week to conclude are nothing short of soft.


And the old standards of gentlemanly conduct have long been in decline. Long gone are the days when the new batsman would be applauded to the wicket by the opposing team. I well remember attending my first Test Match as a boy. England were being led by Walter Hiscock.


As he came out to bat, the captain of the visiting Australians, Roger Pink, gave Hiscock a cheery wave from mid-off, setting the tone for the match. Later, when Hiscock got his fifty, the bowler Alf Long took Hiscock by the hand and gave his customary firm shake.


When the England skipper got out next ball (I can still hear the radio commentary as if it were yesterday “Hiscock is out!) there was no gloating from the Australians who cheerfully applauded their adversary from the field. Oh for the days of Hiscock, Long and Pink!