Weight

Scientists have, apparently, discovered a gene which causes fatness and they believe that an obesity cure could be available in a mere decade. Too late for poor old John Prescott, of course, but never mind. At least we now know that it wasn't the pies and Chinese meals but rather his genetic inheritance. This will no doubt come as a great comfort in his later years.

The real answer is, of course, exercise. We didn't get fat in the old days because we spent plenty of time doing healthy exercise, like hunting and shooting grouse. I suppose the poor didn't have that option but then they didn't have any food, so they didn't have to worry about it. Giving the poor access to cheap food was where it all went wrong, as there wasn't enough room on the country's estates for all those people to exercise on. There are other options, of course. I was a swimming champion when I was younger – i was a breaststroker - a hobby i have followed keenly ever since. And as I always said, once a breaststroker always a breaststroker.