Gordon Brown's has been responding bravely to his recent problems, I see. He has realised that increasing taxes on the poor to pay for a tax cut for the rich might be sending out the wrong signals to his working class voters who might actually vote for someone else instead of whoever Gordon chooses to be their representative – i read that there is a by-election this week somewhere called Crewe where the former incumbent's daughter is hoping to inherit the seat in a welcome return for the much maligned hereditary principle. Gordon has attempted to kiss and make up with the electorate by giving everyone a tax cut to give them back what he had just taken off them. Wisely, he is offering this to the rich, who will now pay even less tax, as well as to the poor who will now pay the same as they were before. Except for the really poor who will still be paying more. The best bit about it is that it is all paid for by reckless borrowing, thereby giving a much needed boost to the irresponsible lending business at a time when the industry most needs it. Gordon, you are a genius.
His flunkies have, meanwhile, been missing the point by telling him that it is all about image and that what he really needs to do is smile more. Take it from me, Gordo, this is not good advice. People liked you when you were a mean-faced bastard. It was only when you cracked the dirt on the back of your neck by smiling creepily that everyone went off you. People want their leaders to be bastards – people look up to those. Like they did to Thatcher. And Stalin.
They will tell you, of course, that Tony grinned like an idiot for a decade and that it never did him any harm. What you must understand is that the people can sense a phoney. Tony could get away with acting like a cross between an insincere snake oil salesman and an embarrassing trendy vicar because that was what he was! Everyone understood it! You are not.
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