The Nuclear Option

I spent a very pleasant lunchtime today with one of the few people in the country who is making any money. He works for British Energy, which is owned, naturally enough, by the French and which stands to benefit greatly from the UK government decision to build lots of new nuclear power stations. This is being sold as a way of fighting climate change but is really because we shall soon run out of power and will be reduced to the level of Burkina Faso or California.

He completely denies the more colourful rumours about the dangers of nuclear power. I asked him if it might be the case that living in proximity to a nuclear power station might increase he risk of infertility in men. “Bing,” he told me in a reassuring tone of voice, “I have spent my entire working life at Sellafield and Sizewell B and I can assure you that my testicles function as well as ever. All three of them.”

I was still a bit worried about the environmentalists. He wasn't concerned. In fact, he was quite pleased with himself over the cunning plan to pass this off as being environmentally friendly instead of being the harbinger of the apocalypse. And just in case the greens get all stroppy again they have a backup plan which involves putting windmills on the cooling towers, which will be able to power ever single emergency exit light in the plant for twelve hours per day so long as it is windy. They won't be able to argue with that!