Python for President

Having dipped my toes in the festering waters of US politics, I feel duty bound to offer a Republican comment by way of balance. Luckily, John McCain has actually managed to do something surprising enough to get a bit of notice in the press. He has named his own Vice-Presidential candidate. Her name is Sarah Palin, the niece of the famous Monty Python satirist Eric Idle. With a firm grounding in the 1960s satire boom and a successful television and movie career before writing one of the most successful musicals to hit Broadway in decades, Sarah makes a welcome addition to the Republican ticket. She would surely be the best qualified Vice President since internet-inventor Al Gore. There is no truth in the rumour that celebrity non-Vice Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton has exploded.

Meanwhile, back in Blighty, nothing much has changed. The Foreign Secretary David Milliband has been in the Ukraine, trying to find somebody who has heard of him. Gordon Brown, meanwhile, has wisely been keeping well clear of the Russian Business and has instead been enjoying the delights of China, hobnobbing with gold medal winning Olympians and hoping that some of the Boris Johnston magic will rub off on him.

My contacts tell me that he has a new plan for regaining the political initiative. He hopes to acquire one of those big booming microphones that make Barak Obama's emptiest platitudes sound deeply profound. This would allow Gordon to win the next election without going to the trouble of thinking up any policies. I fear, however, that this his plan is doomed to failure – Cameron has already got there before him! Ah well, as Sarah Palin would say - "Always look on the bright side of life!"