Humbug!

I have just returned from a visit to Edinburgh, Scotland's ancient capital. I was there to give a speech at the Cockburn Association, which was founded in the city in 1875 to continue the work of Lord Henry Cockburn in promoting awareness of the painful medical condition to which he leant his name.

While I was there I ran into an old acquaintance from my days in government, Jeffrey Archer who was looking exceptionally well, I must say. Who says prison doesn't work? As an illustrious former sportsman himself, of course, Jeffrey was extremely pleased with Great Britain's unusually good performance at the Olympics. He was especially keen to point out his own contribution to the success of the cycling team by arranging a lucrative sponsorship deal with the makers of Everton Mints which involved the cyclists wearing giant boiled sweets on their heads. Marvellous. As a result, Britain can now, at last, be summed up by the words of the old Queen song; “We are the champions, my friend” and, to a lesser extent, “Fat Bottomed Girls they make the rocking world go round”